The Cost of Keeping Up

Amen. All right. Hey, um let's jump into today's message. This is part two of our series relief. And by the way, if you are new here to Forest Park, I do want to just mention that you can go and check out uh the messages, past messages. We have all of those for you online as well. And Josh again has made it even easier to find the messages and they're all there. And the notes of all the messages will stay uh up there as well, so you can follow along. If you miss a message, you can go back and catch it. All right. Last week, last week, we said something many of us have quietly believed for years, but sometimes we don't say it out loud, and that's this. That following Jesus somehow became another place to try harder. That instead of relief, church sometimes adds to the pressure of life. And Jesus looked at tired and worn out people and he said, "Come to me and I will give you rest. Not more work, not more to-dos, not more pressure, not more stress, but come to me and I will give you rest." But here's the problem. Even if we begin to let go of religious pressure, there is another pressure shaping our lives every single day. And it doesn't come from the pull pit. It doesn't come from the platform. It comes from the feed, from the office, from the neighborhood, from the scoreboard, from the phone in your hand. It's the pressure to keep up, to measure up, to look like we're winning all the time, to move faster so we don't fall behind. And that pressure doesn't just exhaust us, it speeds us up. And when we live fast enough to try to keep up, we stop noticing people. And that's where we're headed today. I grew up in a lower middle class community. Our neighbors and friends were similar. We had little to no idea what people on the other side of town were doing. I mean, my social group looked and acted the same as each other. So comparison existed. Sure, we we knew there were people more wealthy, more successful, more pretty than us, but nowhere close to the pressure to conform, to keep up as today's generation experiences. With the spread of computers, social media, cell phones, everything changed. Now your neighborhood is the world. From your front porch, you can see what everybody's doing 247. When I was growing up, comparison happened at school, maybe at church, maybe on a Saturday night. Today, comparison wakes you up. Comparison rides in the car with you. Comparison sits on your nightstand. What used to be good enough isn't good enough now. And as a result, we live disappointed with who we are and what we have and what we've accomplished. And there seems to be an overall sense of, "Yeah, I know, but yeah, I know I have a nice house, but not as nice as they have. Yeah, yeah, I I I know I have a good job, but not as good as his job. Yeah, I know I have a reliable car, but look at what she drives. And much as this is driven by seeing what everybody else is doing and attempting to keep up with everybody else, humans are creatures of imitation. We imitate what we see. We desire what is in front of us constantly. And the phone with social media has brought the entire world in front of us. Unless you think it's only a passing phase or it's not that important. Listen to this. Nearly onethird of young people say what they see online makes them feel pressure, exclusion, or worse about their own lives. So viewing idolized images online is linked to lower body esteem and increased dissatisfaction among adolescent girls. It's absolutely amazing what it's doing to our generation. Some research reported one in three teen girls said Instagram made body image issues worse when they were already feeling insecure. So what happens? Young people edit pictures. They take a picture, then they edit themselves over and over and over again until they feel safe enough to post a picture. Unfortunately, researchers find that editing, watch this, editing a photo before posting it actually increases anxiety about appearance more than just posting the unedited picture. Basically, the more people edit themselves to look acceptable online, the more unacceptable they feel offline. Think about that. The very thing we believe will make us feel more accepted actually makes us feel less accepted in the end. And it is a miserable feeling to feel less than enough, to feel inadequate, to feel as if it doesn't matter how much you try, you will never measure up. And sadly, the images making them feel worse about their own lives are highly curated images. Most often they don't reflect reality at all. But your brain is not particularly good at knowing what's real or fabricated. It believes what it sees. So when girls, boys, young men, young women stare at curated images online, they begin to think that this is actually the way people look. This is the life they live. And they compare how they're living and how they look to what they see online. And it makes them feel worse and worse and worse about themselves. And you know what? The comparison doesn't only happen out there in the world. It also happens in here in the church. Do you know pastors compare? Yeah. We compare church buildings, staff teams, music, preaching, budgets, and the people in the church compare themselves to each other. Why am I not as spiritual as so and so? Why doesn't my marriage look like their marriage? Why are my kids more difficult than her kids? I wish I could worship as freely as he does. On and on. Comparison is everywhere. From the baseball field to the church platform, from the boardroom to the bedroom. And in the end, nobody wins. Nobody wins. Why? Because comparison makes us look into distorted mirrors. You ever gone to a county fair or an amusement park and noticed your reflection in one of those funhouse mirrors? You ever been there? Yeah. The kind of mirror that bends one's shape and makes it taller or shorter or fatter or skinnier. Some of you like, I just wish I had one of those mirrors all the time. Make me look skinny everywhere I go. Right? The mirror is shaped in a way that it distorts your image. One receives a reflection, but the reflection is far from what is real. We carry funhouse mirrors in our pockets all day long. Social media, cultural expectations, religious performance, they are like funhouse mirrors. They distort not only your image but the image of the people around you. So when you end up with a wrong perception of yourself and other people, you start to live in an unreal world. And if we're not careful and we do not recognize what we're seeing, we will attempt to align ourselves with the funhouse mirror's reflection rather than the true reflection. Because when you look at yourself and you look [snorts] at others through the funhouse mirror, someone always looks taller, shorter, skinnier than they actually are. And trying to match what you see is an attempt to match a character rather than reality. And here's here's what I've noticed, okay? When this mirror, this funhouse mirror is in front of us all the time, when we think that distorted images are reality, we tend to respond to what we see by leaning into the pressure to keep up. Keep up with everybody else. Speed up to make sure we don't miss out. We carry around this fear of missing out all the time. If she has it, I got to have it. If he has it, I got to have it. If they have it, they experience it. They I got to do the same thing. I've got to keep up. I got to speed up. I've always got to keep moving forward. And what happens internally? We begin to feel the urge to keep speeding up our lives to stay current, to buy the latest and greatest, to figure out what's working and work it. And comparison doesn't lead us toward rest and refreshment. It leads us to agitation and fatigue. Author David Zaw describes it as [clears throat] accelerated living, speeding up faster and faster, trying to keep up with our neighbors, our colleagues, our companies, our culture. And the only solution most of us are given is to speed up our lives because the culture has convinced us that if we move too slowly, we will be passed over. So, you can't slow down. You can't take a break because if you take a break and you slow down, they're going to zoom past you and you're going to miss out on the best of life. So, we look for ways to do everything faster and faster. Efficiency is king. With every update, everything is faster. Everybody seems to be asking, "How quickly can you get this done?" The problem is the older we get, the slower we move. Some of you are like, "And now he's preaching. Now he's preaching. The older we get, the slower we move and the world keeps speeding up. And some of us are feeling quite left behind." And the rub comes in when we admit we humans are not designed to move at that speed. We are designed for connection, conversation, intimacy, attention, lingering with people we love and who love us. And when we humans designed for authentic connection are shoved into a break break neck speed society, we can only adapt so much before we begin breaking down. Z mentions three byproducts of accelerated living. Anxiety, alienation, and fatigue. Anxiety. The more we try to accomplish in less time, the more we feel as if we are losing control. We are doing everything we can to keep the plates spinning, but we fear that we're going to drop them at any minute. So, we live in a constant state of anxiety. I've got to keep this moving. I got to keep that moving. I got to keep this spinning. I got to keep that spinning. And some of us do drop them. And the crash is great. And some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. You did everything you possibly could to keep the plates spinning and you finally dropped the plates and everybody heard it and everybody saw the crash and the shards of glass went everywhere and your life ended up a mess. And anxiety is not only produced in us because of speed. It's also produced in us because of noise. Have you ever noticed how loud our world is? I mean, music is always in the background. TVs are blaring, talking news heads, movies, conversations constantly. Don't you find it interesting that if you go to an airport and visit the membersonly lounge, there are exhausted travelers paying for silence. Silence used to be abundant and free. Now you have to actually go to a special place and pay to just be quiet. The speed and noise are raising our anxiety levels higher and higher. The second byproduct, alienation. Journalist Anne Helen Peterson sums up the everyday experience of acceleration like this. I thought this was interesting. She said, "Most people feel left behind in some way, no matter what their life is like. Parents feel like their friends without kids have left them behind and are flaky. Kid-free people feel like their parent friends only want to hang out with other parents and they're also flaky. Parents feel that society is incredibly hostile to them. Single people feel like society is incredibly hostile to them. partnered people without kids feel like society is incredibly hostile to them. In other words, almost everyone feels as if they're being forgotten. The world is moving faster and faster and it's getting louder and louder and they don't know how to keep up and they can't listen to all the noise. Now, with AI growing faster and faster, who knows if any of us can keep up. The third byproduct, fatigue. Everybody's tired. Ask him how you doing. I'm tired, man. I was just tired. I used to think that was an excuse. Not anymore. Ask me. I'll tell you. I'm tired. Everywhere you look, you're being encouraged to go faster, consume more, learn greater quantities of knowledge, keep up with the latest headlines, have an opinion on this and that, return the email, reply to the message, don't forget the deal going on, prepare your kids, make the recipe, send the text, sign the papers. And it's embarrassing to admit, but to churches, contribute to it also. Come to this and this, and don't forget that, and remember this. It's enough to exhaust anybody. And it's where most of us find ourselves. We're anxious, disconnected, tired, rushing around to keep up, feeling the pressure to measure up, trying to accomplish more than we are designed to accomplish. All in an effort to align ourselves with a distorted view of the funhouse mirror. Any hope? Any way to escape this funhouse comparison, speed and exhaustion? Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. We have been given and gifted an alternative mirror. A mirror reflecting our value. a mirror that doesn't twist us and contort us into different shapes that are not aligned with reality but reflects our eternal worth. And if you learn to stare into this mirror, you see your shortcomings, sure, but you also see love and acceptance. And after looking, you are inspired not to speed up but to rest, to reflect and then rise into life. Every single person gathered here, everybody watching online, we all need an oasis of rest, opportunities to resist acceleration, to refuse the speed of life, to intentionally flow against the current of faster and better. And when we take advantage of those moments, it may seem as if we're not moving forward. But listen to me. Peace is always better than pressure. Let me show you. Have you ever wondered how Jesus might respond to a hurried comparison soaked person? I mean, if Jesus actually interacted with someone who was in that flow of speed and going faster and collecting more and achieving more and Jesus kind of ran into that person, what would he say? What would he do? Well, let me show you just one example. This is Luke 19. Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through it. He's just passing through Jericho and there was a man named Zakius. He was a chief tax collector and what he was rich. Now you need to understand that tax collectors were despised by fellow Jewish people. Some of you like this hard love today. Okay, but anyway, they were despised by Jewish fellow pe fellow Jewish people. Why? because they were considered traders of their own people. They were Jewish but worked for Rome and became rich from charging excessive amounts of taxes. They would give what Rome demanded and they would pocket the rest. So what it says Zakius was rich. That's intentional. What it's saying is it is saying he was especially good at collecting money from his own people. So, as you can imagine, he was hated by the Jewish men and women of his town. And safe to say, Zakius was immersed in a fastpaced comparison soaked world. He probably had people who work for him collecting money, counting money, reporting money. He was a businessman and a profitable one at that. But something in his life was missing. Although he had money, homes, employees, friends, he lacked one thing and he wasn't exactly sure what that one thing was. So he was trying to see who Jesus was. He heard about somebody else who was quite successful, somebody else who had a lot of people who followed him, somebody else who was gaining popularity. But on account of the crowd, he could not because he was short in stature. So he ran ahead and he climbed a sycamore tree to see him because he was going to pass that way. Jesus sparked Zakius's interest and he wanted to know more about who Jesus is and what Jesus is about. So he rushes downtown to get a look at Jesus. And maybe, just maybe, Jesus will say something or do something that will finally slake his soul's thirst. And what happens next? Zakius is not expecting. When Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, "Zakius, hurry and come down, for I must stay at your house today." Now, here's what I want you to notice. In the middle of the crowd, with people pushing Jesus, touching him, hollering at him, Jesus walked slowly enough. He noticed one man in one tree who had his heart set on seeing Jesus. And when Jesus invited Zakius down and invited himself to Zakius's house, it says, "So he hurried down and was happy to welcome him." I want you to think about that for just a moment. Jesus sees one man, knows about one man's desire, and invites himself into the home of one man. Jesus would have been welcomed into hundreds of homes. And no doubt Jesus had been invited into hundreds of homes. Probably many invitations were given on the same day this story occurs. No doubt people were all around Jesus and many of them were saying, "Jesus, come to my house. Jesus, please come and see my dad. Yet Jesus is so attuned to people. So perceptive to what is going on, he notices one man in one tree and takes the time, stops everything he's doing, and finds time for tea. It doesn't bother Jesus. Zakius is despised by fellow Jews. and he is going to eat in Zakius's home, which is a sacred thing to do within this culture. A rabbi like Jesus did not just eat in anyone's home. And he certainly wouldn't go and eat in a traitor's home. He wouldn't go and eat in a greedy person's home. What? He wouldn't go and eat in someone's home who's taking advantage of the very people Jesus is trying to reach and trying to bring hope and life to, would he? He did. And that is why the people said what they say in verse seven. They say all who saw it begin to grumble and said he has gone to be the guest of one who is a sinner. They're upset. It didn't matter to Jesus. Jesus was focused on one person. And because of how Jesus responds, how Jesus loves Zakius and going to Zakius's house, inviting him down, inviting himself to Zach, that's all acts of love. And because of how he loves Zakius, Zakius life is forever changed. Verse eight, Zakius stood there, and I think he stood there with his mouth open. And I think he stood there in utter shock that Jesus was inviting himself to his home. He just went downtown to see Jesus. He climbed up in a tree just so he could get above the crowd. And all of a sudden, he's not just seeing Jesus. He's sitting at a table with Jesus and eating. And Zakius stands there and he says to the Lord, "Look, half of my possessions, Lord, I will give to the poor. And if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will pay four times as much. That's life change there. And I think Jesus broke out in a smile, maybe even a low laugh when he looks at Zakius and he says, "Today salvation has come to this house because he too, even though all the other Jewish people hate him, they all despise him, they've all judged him, he's a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek out and to save the lost. Zakius, you're the reason I came. You're the reason I was born. You're the reason I do what I do. And I want you to notice the result. Not only is Zakius changed, but as a result of Zakius's encounter with Jesus, poor people receive goods. cheated people receive restitution and Zakius is pulled up and he is pulled out of his dark world of material gain. Why? All because Jesus walked slowly through the crowd. He noticed one person. He affirmed where Zakius was in life and he made room for transformation. And as a result, everything changes. But and this is crucial. This is crucial. Zakius didn't change. You got to hear this. Zakius didn't change because he compared himself upward and realized how messed up he was for being a tax collector. common religion. That's not what changed Zakius. Zakius didn't rush downtown and went, "I'm such a terrible person. I'm such a horrible person. I hope Jesus has mercy on me. I'll climb up in a tree and maybe he'll see me and maybe he'll have mercy on me. I'm such a horrible person." That's not what you hear in this story. Zakius was changed because he was seen. He wasn't judged because of what he did. He He wasn't ignored because he was one of many. He wasn't treated harshly because of his past. Jesus saw him, respected him, heard him, and as a result of that love, Zakius was made new. You see, people want to be seen, folks. They want to be heard in this speedy life, this comparison soaked world, this you got to go faster, you got to accomplish more, you got to do do somebody and all that. They want to be seen, they want to be heard, they want to be understood. And when we respect and validate our neighbor, our partner, our roommate, the person standing in front of us at a coffee shop, that one person, the one person in a tree on your way to do whatever it is you're doing. When we do that well, we will see more and more people change for good. Ain't that true of you? I know it is of me. Every significant transformation in my life resulted from someone seeing me, affirming my dreams, encouraging my efforts. Not not getting bogged down in my past struggles, but rather providing space for me to ask questions, to discuss ideas, to move forward slowly. There are many people around you every single day. Every day. People who long for someone to notice them. Who who who want someone to just meet them where they are. For someone to just acknowledge their struggles, to hear their questions, and to provide a safe place to move forward one step at a time. I want you to imagine what would happen. Just imagine what would happen if we picked up these lessons from Jesus and we applied them to our lives. Let's just take it right out of 2,000 years ago in Jericho and let's just drop it in Elizabeth City. Let's just drop it in Norfick. Let's just drop it in Virginia Beach. Let's just drop it in Edon and Herford and all our surrounding area. Let's just drop it right here where we live and the things that we do. I want you to imagine if each day We intentionally walked slower, noticed more, affirmed often, and provided space. Imagine the conversations that would ensue. Imagine. Imagine the stories we would hear, the lives that we would see transformed. Folks, life change begins when we slow down, which is sparked when we cease to get caught up in the comparison trap. And instead of trying to keep up with the crowd, we begin to catch up with the person so we can support and provide space and see life change. Because here is what I absolutely know, and I know this more today than I've ever known it before. We don't function well when we're moving fast. We just don't. Men, you are not at your best when you are comparing cars, houses, and bodies. Ladies, you are not you you you're going to break down. When you become discontent with who you are, what you have, and where you're going, when we speed up, when we speed, we bleed on ourselves and onto other people around us. When we rush past people, we miss potential. We lose opportunities. We sacrifice miracles. It's when we slow down. When we hit the brakes on the speed of life and we notice who and what is around us and we celebrate what we have and who we are, then we become agents of change and reflectors of Jesus in the slowness in the rest. It's in the pause. It all happens there. It's one reason God instituted the Sabbath at the very beginning. The 24-hour Sabbath broke the rhythm of acceleration. God knows us well. He made us and he made us to achieve. He made us to create. He made us to move forward. He made us to evolve. We are like God when we're creating and improving and changing and accomplishing. But because he knows us, he says it's okay to work, to accomplish, to win. But every seven days you will stop. You will pause everything and you will rest. Refuse to allow the speed of life to kill life in you. You will unplug. You will decompress and realign with the rhythm of love and beauty and peace. Folks, I'm telling you, that's how you go for the long haul. That's how you keep winning and accomplishing and moving forward for 20, 30, 40 years. That's how we not only see miracles in us, but we see miracles in others around us. By pausing, by slowing down and noticing the one by making room for others in our lives to talk, to listen, to encourage. Now, I know I know there are a few of you sitting here, few of you watching online. You're feeling inspired. You want to see exactly what I'm describing, but you wonder where do I start? I mean, Scott, the the truth is my life is busy and I've got so much on my plate. I know. And I know following Jesus one step at a time might feel like one more thing to do. in the middle of a busy demanding life, here you are up there telling me something else I got to do. But what if instead of focusing on changing everybody, noticing everyone, making room for everyone, we simply moved through life a little more like Jesus. Not all at once. Not change everything tomorrow. Not an entire life overhaul. One step, just one. What if What if we slowed our pace just a little? We simply increase margin in our lives by a couple of inches. So, this would allow us to walk slower. And see here, here's what I've learned. When we walk slower, we notice more. And when we notice more, we engage more. And when we engage more, life happens. So, what if allowing yourself an extra few minutes at the coffee shop in the morning is what it means to follow Jesus one step at a time in your life? What if what if arriving at work earlier and allowing linger time at lunch is what it means for you to follow Jesus at work? What if asking someone a great question to encourage conversation is what it means to follow Jesus for you. Intentionally slowing the pace of life, noticing the people around you. That is how Jesus moved through life. not rushed, not trying to keep up, but more peace. And peace is always better than pressure. And one day in the middle of a large crowd with people talking and yelling and pressure demanding attention, peace met Zakius. Calmness arrived. And for one man in a tree filled with questions, hated by his neighbors, with plenty of money in the bank, but carrying a bankrupt soul. For one man who was soaked in a world of comparison, everything changed. And my guess is today we have two kinds of people present. people in a tree wondering if there is anything more to this life than what they're experiencing and looking down from that tree hopeful for answers. The other group are people walking way too fast to look up into the tree around them and notice those people. So my question for you today and we're going to pray is where am I moving too fast to notice? Where am I moving too fast to notice? Let's pray. Father, slow us down. Slow us down. Our world is so fast. It is buzzing around us. Everybody has something they want us to do or see or be a part of or sign or return or reply or have an opinion. It seems as if everybody around us has something else for us to do. But Father, if we're honest and we just back away from this whole world, we see a lot of restless people, a lot of disconnected people, a lot of anxious people, a lot of tired people. And Father, will you help Forest Park be a place filled with people who walk through life a little bit more slowly? Would you fill this place with people who notice the people in the tree, who see the people around us, who are looking for answers, who are wanting some connection, who just want affirmation, who just want time, who just have some questions they want to ask. Father, you teach us to slow down enough that we notice those people. And Father, for some of us, our lives are busy. Our calendars are full. Our phone is going off and emails and texts and all the things around us. But father, somehow in the middle of all that, teach us to just create a little bit more margin here and a little bit more margin there, a few extra minutes here, a few extra minutes there, and walk through life a little bit more intentional with our eyes open, our heart open, so that we might see some of the people around us who need to be loved. And I believe that we will see miracles. We will see life change. We will see more and more Zakiuses who wake up to what really matters in life and take their money and their resources and their talent and bless other people with it and see other people's lives changed. And it all starts when we learn to slow down. Thank you for speaking to us in this message today. Thank you for igniting within us truth and let that truth have its way. Let that truth get inside of us so deep it begins to set us free in ways that we didn't even know we needed to be set free from. Change us from the outside in. We ask these things in the name of the one we follow one step at a time, Jesus. Amen. Amen. Guys, thank you so much for being here today. We're so glad that you came to be a part. We have our wonderful child dedication this afternoon at two. Pray for those families and pray for Alice and her team as they lead people. Listen, if you're new here today, we'd love to know about you being here. We want to connect with you. One way to connect with you is through our uh little welcome home card, the connect card we have in front of you, behind you, somewhere in the seat pockets, or you can go online forurch.com/connect. You can fill it out on your phone. Let us know you were here. We have a small gift we'd love to give you. We have little green bags and coffee mugs out there. Just a free token. Nobody's going to come to your house. Nobody's going to ask you for money. Nothing like that. We just want to give you a little gift to say thank you for being here and maybe exchange contact information so we can keep you up to date with what's going on. That's it. Real simple. And uh we we are honored that you chose to be a part. Hey, just a few things going on. We don't want you to miss out on our worship team. Have a meet and play next Saturday, the 21st. If you're interested in getting involved possibly with our band, singing, playing instruments, anything like that, it's from 9 until 10:30 right here next Saturday. It's a wonderful opportunity for you to meet some of the people in the band, have some questions answered, possibly get uh a part of that. And then we have our men's breakfast. We had it scheduled earlier, but the snow of course canceled it. We've moved it to February 28th at 9:00 am. All men are invited. It's free. We'll have breakfast here. I'm going to bring a short kind of message to you guys to encourage you and challenge you. So, we're looking forward to connecting with our men on February 28th, 9 a.m. Thanks again for being here today. I hope you have an incredible rest of your Sunday. Take care.