Forgive and Forget?

“Just forgive and forget.” It sounds biblical, but is that actually what Jesus asks of us?

Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful ideas in the Christian faith, but it has also been misunderstood and even used to pressure wounded people into staying in abusive, unhealthy, or destructive relationships.

In Part 3 of Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies Christians Believe, we look at what biblical forgiveness actually means, and what it doesn’t.

Forgiveness does not mean removing boundaries.
Forgiveness does not eliminate consequences.
Forgiveness does not automatically restore trust.
Forgiveness does not erase accountability.

You can forgive someone and still keep your distance. You can extend mercy while telling the truth about what happened. You can let go of personal vengeance while still allowing someone to experience the consequences of their choices.

Ultimately, forgiveness isn’t about pretending the hurt didn’t happen. It’s about deciding what kind of person we want to become in response to it.

You cannot control what another person does or who they become. But you can control what you do and who you become.

📖 Scripture: Matthew 18:21–35, Luke 17:1–4, Romans 16:17–18, Luke 23:34, 1 Corinthians 6:9–11